A New Kind of Friday...

As I sat in front of Carrie's high chair tonight singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Carrie Baby" (a spin off of the Four Seasons "Sherrie" or however you spell it) and attempted to coax some roasted carrots into her mouth, I thought about how much my life has changed in a year. Carrie has another tooth coming in which means feeding time doesn't goes as smoothly. These past 2 days have been a challenge in that area and as today wound down and dinner time arrived, I sat there singing, wishing Graham did not have a 5 o'clock meeting on a Friday night. I was exhausted to say the least...today was the day Carrie decided 1 nap was enough for her so everything was a little off. So I thought about something I was told before or after I had Carrie, I do not remember which, nor do I remember who said this, but whoever it was said "Life is no longer about you." What is so interesting about that is that it is true in more ways than 1. The first truth is that I realize life was SO about me before Carrie. I am humbled and embarrassed to admit it, but he or she was right. From the time you are born until you have kids, you are able to pretty much do what you want when you want. Yes, I tried to give back and all of that, but as I look back on pre-baby life, I was pretty caught up in my own life. I didn't know what it meant to give, give, give all the time until you collapse on the couch at 7pm. I mean, yes, I had to compromise in marriage, but I never had Graham start crying in Target because he wanted to hold the bottle of glue I had just put in the cart. Instead of saying to Carrie, "Here baby, have the keys instead" I would have said to Graham, "You need therapy" which he would if that had happened. In marriage, you give and you take...you compromise because you are adults who know what it is to have a rational conversation. A 1 year old cannot do that. The second truth of that statement is that now my life is about my child. But what I also realized tonight is that all the sacrifices and giving do not go without reward. No, Carrie cannot have a conversation with me where we make compromises...I am the one giving in to her way for the most part, but the beauty of being a parent is that your kids give back to you in such different, but wonderful ways. Like when Carrie walks towards me with a huge smile, wraps her arms around my legs and buries her head in them. Or when I pick her up after her nap and she wraps her arms around me SO tight and will not let go. Or even things as small as her mimicking me when I splash my hands in the bath. They just show you that they love you. The work is selfless, but so rewarding. Right when I think I cannot keep my eyes open one more minute or feel like I need a good scream to keep myself afloat, Carrie smiles at me and says "Ma!" or opens her mouth to kiss me and I think "you know what? Life just does not get much better than this." So as I poured myself a glass of wine ;) while I continued to sing to Carrie, I thanked God first and foremost for the blessing that Carrie is and then thanked Him again for the wonderful parents that Graham and I have and the lessons they taught us about sacrifice, love and selflessness. Now it's our turn.